why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
