Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Randomize
