i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
