But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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