When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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