He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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