She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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