How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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