Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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