the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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