The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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