I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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