Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
