i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
