if only i could text you this smell
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
