Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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