Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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