Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
