yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
