Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
