actually, I'm a sock model
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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