Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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