i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
