She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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