; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
