Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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