If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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