I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Damn victory sex feels great
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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