Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
