He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
