Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I think my moral compass just broke
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
