i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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