Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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