i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
