um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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