Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Two words: blizzard sex
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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