who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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