This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
