i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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