next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
