Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
