When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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