just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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