The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
