in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
