I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
