oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize