do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
