at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize