i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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