i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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