our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
