are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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