This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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