Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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