Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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