in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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