HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
