If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
